Why We Respect the Authority of Some Leaders - And Not Others

How do you decide whose word to trust? Whose authority do you deem credible, and why?

Why do we respect the authority of some leaders...but not all?

Effective leaders carry their own authority and know how to build trust in authentic ways. They are innately credible, and the way they deliver their messages supports their experience and vision. Perhaps most importantly, they support their teams - the people they lead - in selfless ways, and their teams want to be led by them.

Unfortunately, effective leaders are rare.

But don't fret. You can still:

a) learn how to discern whether your leader is credible and trustworthy or not (and what to do about it)

and

b) learn to be a credible and trustworthy leader yourself.

Let's address it.

It's not the Title

First of all, leaders can come from anywhere. A title does not grant you leadership rights. Someone may be a manager based on their role at a company, but a manager and a leader are not necessarily the same. A manager is someone's job - they have to oversee projects through to completion or allocate resources effectively or guide teams toward success. They have clear goals and outcomes, and they focus on getting work from point A to point B. It doesn't have to be viewed in a cold way - the best managers know how to motivate their team members and cultivate positive experiences and coach people toward growth and earn trust and build rapport - but that isn't actually part of their job description.

And on the flip side, there is no job description for a leader. That might be confusing or even unsettling - that there isn't one right way to lead - but hopefully you can also view it as an opportunity. Even if you aren't a VP or Director or Manager, you can still be viewed as an effective, inspiring leader.

Note: The authority that comes with a title is vastly different than the authority that comes to a leader. Title-based authority is forced and does not necessarily include respect, inspiration, support, or trust. But leadership authority is bred over time from authenticity, credibility, and trust. Leadership authority is more deeply rooted and much more valuable.

A Dash of Inspiration -

Think of the relationship between a square and a rectangle - all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares. Now realize that the relationship between management and leadership is even more flexible than that. Not all managers are leaders, AND not all leaders are managers. Leaders can come from anywhere. You can be viewed as a leader regardless of your title or role.

The best managers are also leaders, but not all managers are good leaders. In fact, not all managers are leaders at all. Think of the worst manager you've ever had. Would you follow wherever that person led? In a moment of crisis, would you trust that person to serve your best interests? In times of trouble, would you trust that person to help you emerge stronger? Probably not. Who would you trust? Picture someone who you'd view as a good leader. Why do you trust them? Why do you deem them credible? You probably envisioned a more holistic view of a person - the things they've done for you, the ways they've made you feel, the positive outcomes they've inspired, the growth they've coached you through, the selflessness and empathy they showed, the authenticity they brought to every interaction, the way they approached their work - before you ever thought about what their title was.

This one's a tongue-twister, but try this out: Don't let titles let people feel entitled. In other words, sure, there is a certain level of professional respect you have to show to someone who is above you on the org chart, but that respect may come in the form of fulfilling work duties or being polite - not necessarily in the form of considering them a good leader. Don't let someone's title bully you into thinking they're a good leader when they're not. Remember that it's everything else that can make you a good leader, and you don't need the title to open that door for you.

We shouldn't just strive to reach a certain title - we should strive to embody the traits that make us good leaders regardless of where we are in our careers.

Consider your greatest role models. Why did their ideas gain traction? Why do people follow them? Why do you want to emulate them? You probably aren't envisioning simply doing whatever job they did. You're probably considering the way they did that job, or the things they added to it to make it more personal, more inspiring, more impactful. That's what we should strive for. We shouldn't just aim to reach a certain title - we should strive to embody the traits that make us good leaders regardless of where we are in our careers.

It's the Traits - Starting with Authenticity, Credibility and Trust (ACT)

1) Authenticity

Authenticity is a key trait of effective leaders, yet it is not as common - or easy - as it sounds. You might be thinking, "To be authentic, I can just be myself, right?" And while that's sort of true, it's missing a lot of nuance. First, your version of yourself at work is probably different than the version of yourself you bring to your friend's house. And that's okay (and probably appropriate). Being authentic at work might look a little different than simply letting your guard down.

Let's get this out of the way first.

Authenticity at work is NOT:

• Speaking badly about someone, even if you think that way

• Telling crude jokes because you want to break barriers or challenge the "boss" persona

• Being lazy or loose because that's how you wish you could act all the time

Authenticity at work does not mean putting forth this "on vacation" version of you with a laissez-faire attitude - think sunglasses on and feet kicked up on the desk - simply because that seems fun and is also probably how you wish you COULD act at work. You still need to be professional and respectful in the workplace. Doing things you think other people will think is cool is NOT a good way to be authentic. In fact, it will likely backfire, as people won't trust that you are representing them in a professional manner in important meetings or when it matters most.

So then, what IS authenticity in leadership?

Here are some things authentic leaders DO:

• Share consistent messages - they would say the same thing to you that they would say to someone else later, AND they would say the same thing to you then act on that same principle later. Their words are consistent across audiences, and their words and actions are consistent with each other as well.

• Follow through - they do what they say they are going to do.

• Act in a way that is consistent with their values.

• Provide honest feedback and insights, with the intention of helping you improve rather than breaking you down. This feedback is often framed toward growth and is constructive and forward-thinking and aligned with your own goals and vision (which means it is not hurtful or unclear or padded with fake compliments or accusatory or rooted in self-righteousness).

• Represent you and your team well, especially when managing up, especially when you and your team are not in the room.

• Use their voice to speak up (on behalf of their team) regardless of who else is in the room (or what their titles are).

• Give you the benefit of the doubt. They listen to you and understand your position and sincerely want a) to understand you and b) the best for you.

• Sacrifice their own position, at times, if it benefits the team or the greater good.

Authentic leaders are not political. They are not self-serving. They are not two-faced or backstabbing or any other adjective you might use to describe someone who only cares about themself and isn't trustworthy in terms of looking out for you and the welfare of your team. Authentic leaders PROVE their trust through their behaviors. Their words can be trusted. Their actions can be trusted. They are true to themselves, they are open to learning, they listen to understand, and they find ways to support you.

Authentic leaders are driven by duty. They feel - and nobly appreciate - a responsibility to serve others. And they take that motivation very seriously. Sometimes, they care more about you than they care about themselves. They look out for "the other" and use their voice and power for good.

Authentic leaders are driven by duty. They feel - and nobly appreciate - a responsibility to serve others. And they take that motivation very seriously. They look out for "the other" and use their voice and power for good.

Here are some ways to help you discern whether someone is an authentic leader:

• Do they say the same thing to you, their boss, and their peer? (authentic) Or do they change their mind just to appease certain people or to make themselves look better? (inauthentic)

• Do they do what they said they'd do? (authentic) Or do they give you empty promises, or say one thing then do another? (inauthentic)

• Do they make it clear that they want the best for you? (authentic) Or do they rate you against mindless metrics, or close themselves off to your ideas, or box you into their one way of operating regardless of what you might need? (inauthentic)

• Do they represent you and your team effectively, even if it's hard to say certain things in front of certain people? (authentic) Or do they shy away from saying certain things, or convert your opinions into something different that serves them better? (inauthentic)

• Do they feel driven by a sense of duty to serve and act on their values? (authentic) Or are they political, or manipulative, or self-serving? (inauthentic)

2) Credibility

Sometimes, unfortunately, even if someone is very authentic and sincere, they might not be the best person for the job. They might be a good person, with a good heart, and you may enjoy working with them, but they may not have the skills to actually deliver on their promises. What they need is credibility.

Credibility encompasses the skills and experience necessary to lead. Credible leaders are competent. They understand what they are asking you to do, likely because they have done it before themselves. They have real-world experience they can apply to their role. And if they don't, they put in the time to understand the situation and listen to your needs, and then they serve you in a way that actually helps you. They bring fresh, new ideas to the table and give credit where credit is due. They deliver on promises and they model the behavior they wish to see. They are often wise and maybe a bit weathered, but they also listen to new ideas and empower others to find how they work best, because they know that is the right thing to do.

Here are some traits of credible leaders:

• They are reliable. You can depend on them. Period.

• They have the experience to help lead you - maybe because they have been in your shoes before - but they also know, from experience, that there is more than one way to do something, so their experience opens them up rather than closing their view.

• Their skills are undeniable and have been proven. They are sometimes viewed as the "masters" of their domain. You feel confident that they know what they're doing because they are capable.

• Their work ethic is admirable. They didn't come off the street and "oversell" themselves or use social networks to get where they are; they worked hard in a practitioner experience and they continue to work hard regardless of the situation.

• They can get vulnerable (in a professional manner). They recognize that we're all humans here, and mistakes happen. They can speak candidly (and authentically), telling stories from experience that deliver anecdotal support to your team.

• They have high expectations - because they know you can meet them. And then they help guide you there, instead of leaving you out to dry.

• They are transparent. A credible leader does not hide or withhold details to bolster their position. They do not apply so thick a filter to their words that you have no idea what they're saying. They're clear and honest and consistent. You know that when they're talking, you're getting the full story.

• They have their own ideas. They're not just relaying what other people are saying or anecdotal evidence or things they read in a newsletter. They have the knowledge to form their own opinions and align their ideas to the strategies and visions that will help you feel like your work matters.

• They are agile and can pivot based on a shift in strategy or environment. And when they employ agility and make a shift, they communicate clearly along the way and take you with them.

• Their context and their motives are always clear, and their "soft" skills make all the difference.

• They listen to you empathetically, and then they do things that actually help you. They do not make empty promises, and they do not do things that will make them look good regardless of whether you needed that to happen or not. They care about you and have a strong sense of character, which guides their behaviors consistently. You feel taken care of because of their actions time and time again.

Credible leaders earned their position. Some of them may not even realize they're considered leaders. They have the proof to back up any claims they make. They have rolled their sleeves up and done the work themselves, and they hold themselves to the same high standards they hold others to. They are driven by integrity and honesty, and they fulfill their duties wholeheartedly. People feel taken care of by credible leaders and know they can rely on them to be supportive, honest, and consistent. And they trust their insights, because their insights are high-quality and hard-won - not simply heard through the grapevine or assumed from a third-party source (that may not be reputable as it is!).

Here are some questions to ask when discerning whether a leader is credible or not:

• Have you ever said "they have no idea what they're talking about"? (not credible) Or do you often walk away from a conversation feeling you learned something? (credible)

• Do you feel confident that your team is in good hands? (credible) Or do you worry that this person isn't taking your team in the right direction? (not credible)

• Does this person have a good moral compass? (credible) Or do they waver based on what it might mean for them? (not credible)

• Does this person listen to you empathetically and then make changes that benefit you? (credible) Or do they pretend to listen but then act in a way that doesn't actually help? (not credible)

• Does this person do what they said they would? (credible) Or do they make empty promises? (not credible)

• Is this person a good role model? (credible) Or do they ask you to do things that prove they don't actually know what the job takes? (not credible)

• Does this person hold himself accountable? (credible) Or does he either brush his own shortcomings under the rug (while p0inting out all of yours!) or beef things up to make himself look good? (not credible)

• Is this person consistent in her words regardless of who's in the room? (credible) Or would she say something different to you vs. a peer vs. her boss? (not credible)

Here are some scenarios to consider:

• Would you listen to a podcast about writing if it were hosted by someone whose bio was riddled with typos and unclear syntax? No. You would not find that person to be credible, so you wouldn't trust their advice.

• Would you read an article about good sales leadership by someone who has never held a sales role? No. That person would not be credible and their authority should not be trusted.

• If someone tells you they want to hear your perspective, and then they go to a meeting (without you) and share your perspective as their own, are they credible? No. A credible leader would a) acknowledge their knowledge and shortcomings, and then b) either give you credit or invite you to the meeting. And they would be transparent with you afterward about what happened as a result of representing you effectively.

Credibility encompasses competence, character, and the congruence of your values, thoughts, and actions. Credible leaders are consistent, accountable, honest, action-oriented, and proven over time.

A word of warning -

Discerning the credibility of a potential leader can help you not fall prey to the authority fallacy, which occurs when someone believes a claim is true simply because an authority figure made that claim. Or when someone recites a quote that someone else said, and positions it as truth, simply because someone in power said it first. Use your own judgment to decide whether a person - or a statement - is credible.

In many instances, credibility reaches beyond just competence, especially as the world continues to pivot and we need our leaders to adjust in order to lead us effectively. Therefore, credibility also encompasses character, agility, and the congruence of your values, thoughts, and actions. Credible leaders are consistent and honest and proven over time.

And when a leader is authentic and credible, trust is a natural byproduct.

3) Trust

Trust must be earned. Leaders know the importance of earning trust, and they also know you can't sit down and decide "I'm going to earn this person's trust today." Trust is earned in the little moments. In the decisions you make. In the words you use. In the actions you choose. Trust happens naturally over time if you are authentic and credible. If you are values-driven and supportive and honest and action-oriented. If you are consistent. If your team members feel taken care of by you, if they feel confident in your abilities, if they feel they can rely on you, if they see proof of you following through on your word, they will trust you. Trust is their decision. You cannot control it. But you can control everything that happens before the moment they decide to trust you. And that's what you need to do, as a leader.

Trust is earned in the little moments. In the decisions you make. In the words you use. In the actions you choose. Trust is someone else's decision. You cannot control it. But you can control everything that happens before the moment they decide to trust you. And that's what you need to do, as a leader.

Trust takes time to build and a second to crumble. That's why consistency is vital. You cannot deliver on a promise once and then assume everyone will trust you forevermore. You have to deliver again and again, and be thoughtful with your words, and align your actions to your values, and act in ways that support your team, and represent your team truthfully, and listen sincerely, and behave in ways that make things better for your followers. You cannot rest. Because trust can wane. It can fizzle out. If someone is transparent with you once but then doesn't tell you any updates for a month straight, you might start to question them. If someone seems kind to your face but then acts manipulative behind closed doors, you may never trust them again. You may have to tolerate them in terms of your working relationship, but you may not trust them the way a good leader should be trusted.

And a lack of trust can ruin your entire work experience. If you don't trust your boss, you will always feel internal conflict, and you may even have to deal with external conflicts from time to time. You will always feel short-changed, and you will often walk away from interactions feeling unfulfilled or incongruent with your values. But when you trust a leader, that trust elevates everything. Trust inspires confidence. Productivity. Empowerment. When you trust your leader, you may take more risks and be more innovative because you can predict how they'll act and because you know they trust you right back. You'll likely be more open to asking questions or admitting mistakes or trying new things. You'll probably feel more inspired to impress them or deliver for them or do the right thing for them, even if they're not asking you to do it for them. You'll serve each other in beautiful ways that cannot be fabricated - this point has to come about naturally.

Hope for trust, but don't force it. Be trustworthy, and be willing to trust others first, but don't expect their trust in you until you have proven yourself. Until they know that you are authentic and credible, honest and sincere, action-oriented and integrity-driven, proven and consistent. Give your trust to them, then prove yourself to them, and let them decide to trust you back.

And when you reach that point, authority will come.